EECOLOR

Every once in a while I get the urge to write stuff down. The exact reasons for this might be explained later, who knows.

I have no special intentions writing this down.

My name is Erik and I am from Holland, which might explain my strange English accent.

So, what's on my mind today? Not too much actually. It's just the urge to do something with my life. My current quest is to learn as much about life as I can and sometimes, when I hang in front of my TV watching a series of some sort, I feel the urge to do something more usefull. After checking my RSS reader and email in search for something usefull, I remembered I created this place some time ago. 

Life is quite a special thing to experience and I am constantly amazed by it. We are alive and experiencing a thing we call reality. In these times we have computer games that get more and more advanced, will we end up with a game that is just as amazing as life itself?

For me, for a long time one of life's big questions has haunted me: Is there life after death? I became quite obsessed with it and read (now in my favorites collection) books from R. Monroe and B. Moen. These two authors had me convinced of a life after death and I recommend anyone with an interest in the subject to read them. Even if it's bullshit they give you a very nice and detailed alternative explaination.

Quite some time ago I found a religion called 'Church of Reality', they have a forum where alot of interesting topics are discussed. One of these topics was (offcourse) one about the aforementioned question. You must know that the forum has some well spoken scientific minded critics. They made me realize that, allthough I did not know at the time, I was not quite sure about my choice. To explain a bit better: as far as I can tell there is no solid proof for or against a life after death, so whatever you believe is what you want to believe. At that point in time I choose to believe in favor of the life after death.

Now, some months later my opinion has changed. After a lot of internal resistance I now think it's more likely there is no life after death. I am still very much open to the idea however.

The biggest problem that came with this shift was the meaning of life. I was always quite layed back thinking: "When I die I will understand it all". The fact that I might not be around after I die poses a problem to this layed back attitude. When I die, I might not be around anymore and all the knowledge I gathered about the human experience will be gone.

That sense of waste I think has led me to slowly poor out words onto this canvas.